T-Minus 27

One week down, three more weeks to go! Day 4 into SPM and the pressure is already taking a toll on me. The mental fatigue is very taxing; it’s the kind of tiredness you can’t get rid of even with hours of sleep. I’m really happy that we have a week of holidays for the Deepavali celebrations: enough time to relax and buck up for the more extreme elective subjects.

In the days leading up to the 2^nd of November and beyond, I’ve started spending a lot more time with friends and the people who matter. There’s this tradition called the “forgiving circle” in my school: it’s a time where the SPM students meet up with everyone else personally to seek their forgiveness before the examination period starts so that our journey may be a smooth one. It’s also a time for us to let go of the past and pave way for new beginnings, especially important since the SPM students will be leaving the school. After all, we wish to be remembered for the good in our past, not the mistakes that we make.

This year’s forgiving circle was definitely one to be remembered: I myself was pleasantly surprised when some of my batchmates that I almost never talk to, approached me and started really pleasant conversations. I was able to rebuild broken friendships, and at the same time really open up and express my utmost appreciation for the friends that have stuck by my side all along. I’m proud to say that I’ve experienced life with these people for the past 5 years.

My friends and I have started spending a lot more time together too: from the late night gatherings to lying under the stars, talking about the first time we came together and the stories that made our friendship stronger. We’ve been through a lot together: they were there for me when I lost myself, and they were there to accept me with open arms when I finally found myself again. They were there for me in my lows, and together, we sure had plenty of highs. In hindsight, I believe that it must have been fate that brought us together. I cannot even imagine what senior life would have been without them. We’ve come so far. Now that our school days are coming to an end, as much as we wish to cling onto the memories we’ve made, it’s up to us to start a new chapter in our lives together. I sure hope that we’ll make it through.

27 days to the end of school, 27 days left before having to leave the nest and make decisions of our own. As much as I always say that I can’t wait to leave this place, but a question still remains: Am I ready?

And for the first time, I’ll admit. I’m scared.